She’s Back !

6 months to the day of B’s MPFL reconstruction surgery, she officially was cleared to return to the game she loves so much. Last Tuesday was B’s big Ortho appointment for her final surgical follow-up at the IWK. Her surgeon was very impressed by her recovery and by her determination. Her right knee is tracking perfectly and her strength has improved significantly since her last appointment in August. He had no problem with giving her the green light, although he did have an issue with how tall she is getting. 5″8 at 14. He has been “fixing” her since she was 6 and she seems to grow a foot taller every time he sees her. She’s grown so much over the summer that she needed much larger shin pads and her old chest protector fit like a sports bra. She will still have ongoing physiotherapy and will continue to go every three weeks to the IWK for therapy plus her daily exercises continue at home for the not so near future. She still has a lot of work to do to get her quad functioning optimally.  In other news, x-rays showed that she does not in fact have scoliosis, The doctors are puzzled as to why she has a positive result with the Adam’s forward bend test and the other screening factors they use for scoliosis. We do know that her hips are very weak and her core is having a hard time holding her top half upward, so for now, they are deeming it a side effect of her hyper-mobility and are incorporating core strengthening into her physio to see if that helps line things up. When we left the appointment, I don’t think I could wipe her ear to ear grin off if I tried.

Since being cleared,  she has been to numerous practices,  played 2 league games and has done really well. During her first game she got her first assist of the season, well, technically it was two but apparently when she hit the puck it bounced off the goalie before her teammate scored, so it didn’t count as an assist although in the mom’s rules of hockey, it totally counted! She has also finally been able to participate with her high school team just 1 practice so far and 1 game yesterday, I know she has a lot of pride playing for her school. She didn’t think that would ever be a possibility.  I told B before the game to be cautious, after all , her high school team is a lot different than her league, In the league, she is a Bantam A, meaning the girls on her team are 13-14 yrs old only and for the most part are equal in skill level. Her high school team is a lot different, where the girls are anywhere from 14-17 and the skill level is mixed. B’s team has girls that play midget triple A to girls who have never played before and everything in between.. and where B is the tallest on her league team, 17 year old girls can be huge in full gear! Do you think my fragile post op child listened to her mom? not in the very least!  My child went from racing to the boards battling for the puck to being right in front of the net being shoved from the Defense and loved every moment of it despite my poor nerves.  Her team lost her first game, but honestly, it was wonderful to watch. The girls from both teams were pretty evenly matched, there was no dirty plays, no aggressiveness that seems to be at play during her league games, the refs were fair, (only 1 minor tripping penalty for the other team) and the girls seemed to be having fun playing the game. The girls battled to the end but with a few lucky bounces the other team was victorious, yet, both teams left the dressing room smiling and laughing. B’s high school coach greeted and congratulated each girl on a great game as they left. Win or lose this is really what this whole hockey thing should be about.

 

Ready for action

First High School Hockey Game

A little pushy in front of the net

Face off

We are now in the thick of hockey season. Cold weather, cold suppers and colder rinks are our daily routine. Now that B is fully back on the ice, we are all in hockey mode although two hockey teams this year is a lot of adjustment. B seems to be keeping things in stride but I’m having a more difficult time keeping up. I’m pooped already! I find it is always a huge deal for me to adjust to the cold after a warm summer but the rinks are crazy cold and it really hurts!  Driving to and from practice or a game takes a lot out of me lately and I really don’t have a lot of time to recover before I have to go again.  I’ll survive. I always do and as long as my bendy little B is happy and healthy playing her game I’ll be arriving at the rink with a smile.

 

An Improbable Hockey Mom

hock·ey mom
noun
NORTH AMERICANinformal
a mother who devotes a great deal of time and effort to supporting her children’s participation in ice hockey.

This is something I have never dreamed I’d ever be, nor actually would want to, I have raised two boys to adulthood without any participation in organized sports. My boys are athletic, but chose more solitary sports such as bmx and parkour so my commitment level was dropping a kid off at the skatepark, coaxing the other one off the roof of the shed and stocking up on tons of bandages. I have had friends who had children in sports like soccer and football and did not envy their busy schedules, late night suppers, a lack of social life and empty bank accounts.. I thought I had it made, but then my daughter , my precious, sweet fragile little girl “B” , at the age of 12 decided to become a hockey player. This request would probably sound pretty normal to any mom, she found a sport she loved (our family is a hockey loving family) and decided to pursue her passion, any other mom would just hand over the obscene amount of cash at registration, get all the fancy gear and let her kid aspire to be the next Haley Wickenheiser right? well, she’s not a typical girl and I am not quite the typical mom. We both have a connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome.

EDS type 3 is a disorder that affects the connective tissues that support the skin, bones, blood vessels, and many other organs and tissues. It affects our entire bodies. We have hypermobile joints, (we are very bendy) our joints sublux and dislocate easily, we bruise easily, our muscles are weak, as is our ligaments and tendons. That is the tip of the iceburg really, I also have a chiari malformation, cranio-cervical instability, as well as atlantioaxial rotary instability, cerviomeduallary syndrome, cord compression, basilar invagination, gastroparesis and dysautonomia, a blood clotting disorder called Factor 5 Leiden ,heart issues and hearing and vision issues. sounds like a fun time eh? All of this creates severe chronic pain, fatigue and way too many medical appointments. For a in depth explaination of EDS, head on over to https://www.atlanticedssociety.ca/ or check out The Atlantic Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Society on Facebook.. Our daily lives can be challenging, frustrating and exhausting but equally rewarding and fulfilling.

B has a mitral valve prolapse, Chiari and FvL on top of her EDS, so as you can imagine my first response to her hockey playing request was a solid No! No way No How, a brief “are you insane?’ followed by another Hell no.. However, If you have ever met an EDS’er, you will quickly realize that we are a very strong, determined and resilient bunch, and in our family, stubborn as shit. So after much persuading ( I really mean relentless begging and pleading) I caved and let her try skating for the first time at our local rink. Yes, you are reading that right, my little right winger wannabe had never even skated before! Honestly, I was thinking that she will go out , fall a few times on her butt, realize that rinks are really cold and the ice even colder and that will be the end of her puck shooting pursuit. Boy, was I ever wrong, on December 13, 2015 my bendy kid took one step on the ice and never looked back. She was a natural and the smile on her face took away every ounce of doubt I had.

First time on the ice

Fast forward a month, we were able to find a local hockey development program so she could learn the basics. That was the deal, she had to learn the game and gain some skills before we would consider signing her up in a league. She did really well considering she had been on skates for a ridiculously short amount of time at an age where the majority of players were semi pros.  I’m not going to lie, it was rough at times, not only did she have to learn a new sport but she had to learn to navigate her own body.

Baby steps

Well, she didn’t get the news she was hoping for on Thursday but it’s a step in the right direction. She’s back on the ice! Baby steps… I think she was expecting to walk in and be told that she was good to go, like any overanxious player wanting so desperately to return to the game she loves. She should have known that it’s a slow journey to return to the ice. She’s watched numerous of her favourite Montreal Canadiens follow the same protocol after injuries. First, skate with the team, then practices before getting fully cleared to return. It’s a process and my little Bantam A player is no different. She is now only cleared to skate and participate in light practices. She attended her first practice with her league team just a few hours after she recieved the news.(coincidence only that it was a practice night) she did quite well without having been on skates since last March.

She’s coming along well with physio, her quad is now working although still weaker than the typical 14 year old but we will take it. Her focus is now bulking the muscle up, strength and balance, so she still has a rigid daily exercise regime.

Her next Ortho appointment is on November 6th. This will be the big one. It’s a joint appointment with her physio and surgeon. Her physiotherapist anticipates that she will be cleared to start playing games at this time.

That being said, at this appointment, she will be having her back x-rays to determine the severity of the scoliosis. She is a little nervous about it but her spine curve is really at the bottom of her priority list at the moment. Her exercises now include a few things to strengthen her back and hips. Her hips are really weak as well and affect her posture and gait. I really don’t expect the results of the xrays to show anything severe, even though with Ehlers-Danlos Syndromes we quickly learn to expect the unexpected.

This weekend, B is at her league teams first tournament. She travelled with the team and is on the bench during the games with her teammates. I know she wants to be playing but she knows that’s coming soon. A quick text from her last night said that she was having fun, being social and really felt like a part of the team,which is a huge deal for her and in my opinion the most important thing for her on or off the ice…

B the team bench warmer.

B has yet to be cleared to play this season and hockey is in full tilt. She is on two teams this year and has dragged us to every practice, game and team event, even though she has been merely just a spectator. She is adamant that she wants to be in the locker room at every opportunity to bond and support the girls as best as she can from off the ice. Between her school team and her league, the schedule is crazy. We have hockey pretty much every day of the week, some days twice. That’s alot of watching! Being on the bench hasn’t been easy for B, her passion is to be at the center of the action. This has led to a lot of frustration, angst and tears. It has also helped in motivating her to do her physio daily and regain the strength she needs in her quad to be cleared to return. Her physio regime isn’t easy, it’s alot of work reactivating that pesky muscle in order for it to support her knee. I don’t envy her at all. Since the games have started, she has been especially diligent in completing her rehab and has done extra to aid in the strengthening. Her typical daily exercises are straight leg raises, stair bends, clam-shells and stretching. She’s since added wall squats, the elliptical and light weight leg presses. That’s a pretty impressive routine for a 14 year old. On top of that, she continues to practice shooting pucks and stick handling on our back deck, much to my neighbours delight I’m Sure. She is shooting close to 50-100 shots a day, in the cold, in the dark and sometimes in the rain. Most of time I stand there and call out different shots, some days I “play” defense and try to block her shot or use my foot to try and kick the puck out from her.. (my poor bruised ankles). She really had anticipated being cleared at her last appointment but sadly that didn’t happen. She will be reevaluated this Thursday at her physiotherapy appointment. We all have our fingers crossed that she will get the go ahead this week. Her Ortho appointment is coming up in a few weeks, and I’m sure he will let her play, she is a long time patient of his and she essentially has him wrapped around her little finger (like last season). If he is confident she is healed from a surgery standpoint, he will let her play ( he is really awesome and he doesn’t usually say no, he’s a big proponent of sport and a bigger fan of B’s.) Her physiotherapist however, is a tougher nut to crack. She apparently has the final say in the matter. In the event of a green light, she will have to take things slow of course regardless of the date she gets the all clear and will have to gradually return to a regular participation but I cannot begin to tell you the relief it will be to hear those words. She’s been driving me nuts!

B teaching my granddaughter the ropes

 

Her league team will be travelling within our province to one of her favourite tournaments on Friday. She already has arrangements to go despite not yet being able to play. She just doesn’t want to miss out. Tournaments, activities like dryland and team building are probably one of the most important part of feeling like a part of a team. We completely understand and want her to have those experiences with her mates so regardless of Thursday’s outcome, she will be there. Her coaches on both teams have been amazing in allowing her to be on the bench during games and treating her like just one of girls so she hasn’t felt left out, well sort of, it was at the last game on the bench when I believe that she had enough of watching. She was very frustrated and desperately wanted to be able to jump in and make a difference in a game they were unfortunately losing. That being said, It has allowed her to almost having a coaching perspective, she recognized a few things that the team wasn’t doing ( it was our 2nd game, like all teams, they are still working all the kinks out). It really gave her the opportunity to see the game from different eyes which I’m sure could be beneficial to her game even though she desperately wants to be back on the ice sooner rather than later.

Standing behind the bench

Fingers crossed for Thursday!

And so it begins…sorta..kinda..maybe?

October marks the beginning of many things, sweater wearing, darker evenings and pumpkin spice everything to name a few. It also means the excitement of having your favorite team finally suit up and hit the ice after a long summer. October marks the start of a brand new Hockey season (go Bruins!). For those who play, the Fall means the beginning of leagues, new teams, new coaches and new crazy schedules. Some girls spent the summer playing different sports, or developing their skills at camps while others spent the warm days relaxing on beaches and roasting marshmallows around bonfires, for B, it meant hospital stays, surgery, rigorous rehab and numerous appointments.

In June, B underwent a MPFL reconstruction of her right knee to fix the damage that was caused by the multiple dislocations last year. Her surgery was done at the IWK hospital in Halifax, the procedure went well with no major complications but the damage was extensive. She completely ruptured the medial patella-femoral ligament graft from her previous surgery, all that was left was the anchor. Her surgeon was able to replace it with a new graft and clean up all other damage he found. He also discovered that she has now developed Arthritis in the joint. How she managed to play an entire season without incident still boggles our minds and her surgeons! Her hospital stay was 3 days due to a cardiac/blood clot scare. B had sudden chest pain upon rising that sent the alarm bells ringing, she was immediately put on iv blood thinners and was sent for a CT scan, an echo cardiogram and an EKG.  It was a really stressful situation, knowing she has a blood clotting disorder and cardiac issues. We lucked out as she was able to be seen by her own cardiologist at the heart center in the hospital. He determined her pain was caused by internal bruising of her chest wall from intubation during surgery. no clots ! He also checked her Mitral Valve Prolapse while she was there and thankfully that remains unchanged, however he did discover that her Aortic Valve is now leaking and will have to be monitored. The good news is that its still mild enough for her to continue to play hockey at her current level.

In recovery

Cold flow machine

not her best day

 

B has been in rehab since a week after surgery. Her recovery has been pretty remarkable for an eds’er. Having EDS usually means longer recovery times, setbacks and poor wound healing (she only had 1 issue this time with one area not healing and holding the stitches, it has since healed.) Just 3 weeks after the procedure she attended her jr prom in a fancy dress, sparkly shoes and a full leg brace.

Ready for Jr. Grad

She’s been in physio off and on since she was 6. Her biggest nemesis is her quads. Weak muscles are notorious with EDS, and B is no exception. She has poor muscle tone/strength in her legs, core, hips and back. Her quads seem to have a life of their own and only function when they want to, despite physio, exercise and activity. This happens to be one of those times unfortunately. At physio yesterday, it was determined that her quad is still not strong enough to support her knee, and thus could not be cleared to return to the ice as she had hoped. She will be re-evaluated in 3 weeks, but it looks like it could be at least December. Not only is her league play in jeopardy, she also joined her high school girls hockey team, something she had been wanting to do since grade 6.

Physio

She is of course devastated, and being a teenager, she goes through the 5 stages of grief at least 5 times a day. She doesn’t deal with disappointment well. On top of that blow, it was also confirmed at her appointment that she has scoliosis, so that means another Ortho consult and x-rays in the near future. As her mom, I know a late start or one missed season is not the end of the world. However trying to convince B, is proving difficult. Hockey is her world.

Tonight is her league team’s first practice. She is adamant that she wants to go and meet the new girls and watch the practice. Knowing how bad she wants to be on the ice, i’m hoping bringing her to watch is the right thing to do. I really don’t want her to hurt anymore than she is hurting right now. Knowing my child, her strength and determination, she will be back on the ice sooner rather than later. stay tuned.

The Thrill of a lifetime Pt 2

We all woke up fairly early the morning of Nov 14th, B was beginning to become very nervous yet eager to go back to the Bell Center to do a little shopping in the store and to briefly check out the big city. We were given specific directions and times we had to be at the Bell Center so the grown ups were eager to get our bearings and make a solid plan for our arrival later in the day.

Taking in the big city from the hotel room

To a kid, Halifax can seem like a big city,  but is nowhere near the size, bustle and congestion of Montreal. It really is a shock when you first lay eyes on the sights for the first time in the daylight. I personally love it, I’ve been to Montreal twice before for concerts and the city never ceases to amaze me. Between the people, the skyscrapers, the traffic, the smells, the noise, it truly is a cosmopolitan place of wonder. I’m sure B would have had more of an interest in everything around her but her sights along with her heart was set back to the Bell Center, the home of her beloved Montreal Canadiens. If you couldn’t already tell, B really really likes the Habs. We walked back over (after a much needed stop at Timmies) and let the girls do a little shopping. B picked out a Gallagher t s-shirt  (she has numerous Price shirts and jerseys and they didn’t have anything different at the time) We walked through the statues once more, took a few more pictures and found the entrance we would be going to later in the day.

back at the Bell Center

 

We left the Bell Center and took a short stroll along St Catherine street. I really wanted B to rest and calm her nerves before having to get ready. We spent a few hours at our hotel, where the nerves were calmed (somewhat), motivations were spoken (she was really nervous) her body relaxed (not really, she was still really really nervous). Her biggest fear was that she would fall during her quick trip around the ice, did I mention she would be skating in front of about 20 plus thousand people, in the dark with only a spot light on her and on the jumbo-tron for all to see? That is pretty nerve wracking for anyone, let alone one with an anxiety disorder and a knee that dislocates at will. To be clear, this opportunity had nothing to do with her disabilities, it was not associated with any kind of wish or special circumstance, it was merely me filling out an entry and her winning a draw. Despite her medical issues, she was still physically able to participate but between you and me, the possibility of an embarrassing fall was a rational fear, although, we tried to assure her and make light of it , telling her that, she would be fine and that wouldn’t happen but we were sure she wouldn’t be the first one if it did and that hey, at least they would remember your name right? It really didn’t help much.

We arrived at the Bell Center and were directed to our spot in the parking garage. We entered through the security office and media entrance with her gear bag and stick where a representative was waiting. Unfortunately her father’s flight had not yet arrived and he would miss her practice run and photo op, I was hoping he would make it in time to see his daughter have her big moment. We were ushered down a hall and into a dressing room where the kids had their uniforms and flags waiting.(there are two flag bearers per game, B shared the ice with a boy from Quebec) They quickly got into their own teams uniforms for the practice run.. there were brief instructions by a fabulous rep named Aubrey and then we were off to the ice..

In the dressing room

If you never have been inside an NHL arena before (like us) and have only seen it on TV, it truly is a sight to behold. I don’t think I could have wiped the ear to ear smile from B’s face if I tried. She went with Aubrey and her flag bearer partner on to the ice. Us parents had to watch from the Zamboni entrance as the kids received their instructions and practiced their flag bearing routine a few times.  During the practice, we noticed a lone man sitting in the stands wearing a hoodie with the hood up, a trapper on his hand watching the kids, we believe the solitary spectator to be Sergei Bobrovsky, the goaltender for the Columbus Blue Jackets who the Canadiens were playing that night which was pretty cool (although to this day B thinks it might have been Carey Price, wishful thinking kid!) After they got their routine down pat, they allowed the kids to skate around the ice, take shots on the practice nets and have photos taken by Aubrey.

We were given vouchers for food so we went up into the food vendor area where we finally met up with B’s dad, He made it ! He had arrived in time to accompany B to ice level to watch the Blue Jackets warm up, meet Youppi!  the team’s Mascot , help her get into her gear and get in place to video her moment of glory .

B and Dad

watching the Blue Jackets

B and Youppi!

B was Ready to shine. I was in our seats in the family section and was told to keep my phone’s camera fixed on the jumbo tron as her skate would be featured on it as it was happening, her dad had the on ice view with the handy cam. The lights went out, the music began, my heart started pounding.  Tears were flowing down my cheeks, as I watched my little girl skate flawlessly as she carried the flag of her favourite hockey team around the ice in front of a full Bell Center Crowd, then stood as honour guard as the players were announced and made their way onto the ice, passing between the kids. some players whizzed right by them, a few fist bumped them but B’s big thrill was when Tomas Plekanec paused to tap each kid with his stick before hitting the ice. Although she didn’t get the opportunity to meet with the players and Mr Price was not at the Bell Center that day,  both kids met with Left Winger Artturi Lehkonen #62 for the Habs who made small talk and gave each of them a puck , he wasn’t playing that game but was in the hall where the kids were. She was starstruck. She was then escorted back to her seat with us and watched her first live NHL game. She got her face painted, and she cheered on her team (even though they lost in overtime).

war paint

B and mom

B and her Fav place in the world

Our Trip was a whirlwind one as we left for Halifax early the following morning. We were all exhausted, I was emotionally and physically drained and eager to get home. The drive was a long one but we again made it back in about 12 hours. I cant thank our friends enough for taking us, it was a lot to ask ,but it was totally worth it to see my girl give the performance of a lifetime.

The Thrill of a Lifetime Pt 1.

As before mentioned in a previous post, B had quite the opportunity and experience this past November. It all began sometime last summer when I came across a twitter post that said “have your kid skate with their hockey heroes” or something to that effect, so I thought hey, why not? and entered her in the contest to be a flag bearer at a Montreal Canadiens home game. I thought nothing more of it until late October, when I received an email from Scotiabank Skaters asking for more information. Once again I filled out the form and hit send. Even at this time, I just thought, oh, she perhaps just made it to a second round or something not expecting to hear back. In fact, I hadn’t told B any of this, I didn’t want to tell her that I entered her in a contest that could potentially make her dream of meeting/seeing her hero Carey Price come true, I didn’t want her to get her hopes up, so I kept it to myself. Much to my surprise, just two days later, I received an email saying “Congratulations! your child was chosen”… I wont lie, I screamed out loud in excitement for her and there were tears, which in turned scared the crap out of B who was sitting across from me when the email arrived. so to assure her I wasn’t having a coronary or a mental breakdown, I spilled the beans. I will never forget the look on her face when she finally processed what I was telling her. She was beyond excited with tears rolling down her cheeks and I was still stunned, excited and a bit panicked when the reality of the situation quickly set in as her dad was away offshore at work. Her date was less than two weeks away, in Montreal (1200 km’s away) and I was alone. He wasn’t scheduled to come home until the morning of the game, which meant we wouldn’t have a drive. Flying was not an option and I couldn’t possibly drive that far on my own. So now the stress of finding a way there began.  I had offers from family friends but logistically it wasn’t going to work. I think I was as heartbroken for them as they were for us in having to say no. Thankfully, another family friend (we’ve made some amazing hockey friends) said yes, everything logistically fell into place and we had a way to Quebec. B’s father made plans to fly and bought himself a ticket to Montreal so he could meet us before the game, he was as excited to see his favourite team for the first time as she was (not to mention be a part of her experience). The night before we were to leave, I don’t think any of us got much sleep B was so excited even knowing her beloved net minder wouldn’t be between the pipes as he was still recovering from an injury.

We decided to drive through, from Halifax to Montreal (12 hrs) so we left early in the morning the day before her big day. B is not an ideal “road tripper” she’s more like an “are we there yet” kinda girl. But between her phone, a friend, naps and frequent stops at the numerous Tim Hortons along the way , she was pretty pleasant to deal with. Travelling with EDS comes with its own sets of challenges, long road trips are often difficult and painful. Our joints begin to hurt after being in the same position for long periods of time so we have to stretch and change positions alot, our blood clotting disorder dictates that we need to make sure we are able to get up and move around every few hours, frequent bathroom breaks are essential and a big pain in the butt when your travelling long distances in a hurry.  I have found that lately , for me, long drives really seem to take a toll on my body and they have become increasingly difficult to recover from. That being said, we made great time and arrived in Montreal around 7pm (a little less than 12 hours). After we checked into the hotel, the grown ups were exhausted but the girls only had one thing on their mind, so we checked in, dropped our luggage off in the room, and we walked over to the Bell Center. Luckily, our hotel was about a 5 min walk away.  B had never been to Montreal before and has only seen the Bell Center on TV so this was a huge deal to her, she was finally there!  Of course, the Bell Center was closed by the time we got there, but you could still get in and walk around and of course the first thing she went to was a large photo of Carey Price in the display window of the Habs store. We walked around the halls where the murals of the players are, stopped to take photos of her and her favourites and then went outside to where the statues are. There were more photos taken, some overtired giggles, a stop at McD’s for food , then finally we headed back to the hotel to we all quickly crashed. Her big day would begin the very next morning. (to be continued)

Her First stop

she is still sad about the trade

showing her love

#9 and my #9

We all knew it was coming…

I don’t want to jinx it but B has made it through nearly the entire hockey season with no dislocations or major issues. That is quite the accomplishment considering no one on her medical team expected her to last this long with the extent of her injuries. They just wanted her to play as long as she could. Once again, her determination surpassed everyone’s expectations. As a quick reminder, despite the everyday challenges of her EDS, she had a catastrophic dislocation of her right knee last April, then 2 more major dislocations in August and September. The dislocations essentially tore apart her last mpfl surgery, ruptured the cadaver tendon they implanted and shifted her knee cap resulting in a condition called patellar Alta. And yes, she’s still going strong on the ice! crazy! I know. She’s had a few minor bumps this season, a pesky peroneal subluxation which we “treated” with taping and physio and a small cyst that developed in her knee but that has yet to cause any issues. So far so good.

If you remember my first post, she will be having surgery at the end of the season to repair her knee , we just have a few more games and a tournament left. Fingers crossed.

Surgery isn’t something to be taken lightly. Her left knee mpfl reconstruction in 2010 had numerous complications, having Ehlers Danlos Syndrome means any surgeon needs to be prepared for the unexpected. Tissue tends to shred as the lack of collagen doesn’t allow sutures or screws to hold, the use of cadaver tendons have been required as her own are too frail to use and sometimes during a standard procedure, they have to adjust their technique to accommodate the laxity and tracking of the knee on the spot because the standard just doesn’t work. These are just a very few examples of how complicated an EDS orthopaedic patient can be. Multiple surgeries are known lead to poorer outcomes and increased risk of failures.

B will be headed to the Shriners Hospital in Montreal in late March for a surgical consultation with what I’m hearing is one of the best Pediatric Orthopaedic Surgeons in Canada as well as an appointment with a Sports Medicine Doctor on staff . I have heard numerous stories about the prestigious Shriners Hospital and that they perform nothing less than miracles on even the toughest orthopaedic cases. We will be again driving from Halifax to her favourite city (I still won’t fly) . She’s pretty nervous about it, so to make it easier on herself she’s insisting on tickets to her favourite team the Montreal Canadiens vs Detroit Red Wings game at the bell centre the night of her first appointment and even if her idol Carey Price hasn’t returned from his concussion injury. Wow. That poor kids dream is to watch this guy play.. (but we shall see lol ) but seriously, not only is her hockey career on the line but more importantly her health and quality of life.

I’d like to mention that we have fabulous doctors here in Halifax that have taken amazing care of B during her medical journey. Our decision to seek consultation out of province was not one we took lightly , but because of her passion to continue to play hockey and her complicated medical history, after consulting numerous medical professionals and doing our own research, we made the application which was approved a few months ago. Our thinking was that perhaps this world renowned hospital with its top rated orthopaedic doctors could be a chance for B to have the best surgical outcome. As her parent, it’s my responsibility to explore every avenue in the her best interest. If, it happens that this would not be the solution we are hoping for, we will have her surgery here. Either way, it will be happening sooner rather than later.

Surgery 2011

As this season winds down to a close, it marks the beginning of yet another medical journey, she will have a long road ahead of her, not only to back on the ice but to having two functional knees. Knowing my kid, her strength and determination, it’ll be a piece of cake.

Heading home surgery 2010

Parents behaving badly

Canadians are passionate about their hockey, I’m no different. I cheer on my Bruins loud and proud from my recliner, I yell at the refs through the TV screen disputing an obvious bad call and I hoot and holler when Marchand top shelfs the puck to win the game. I’m pretty sure most hockey fans are just like me.

When it comes to minor hockey, I’ve noticed little difference in parents watching their kid play and rooting for their team, why not? Everyone’s kid is a star, but what happens when the parents behave worse than the kids they are supporting?

There is a big difference between being loud and a bit obnoxious during a game. There will always be “those” parents who are a little louder than the rest and a little too passionate cheering on their daughters, you know who I’m talking about. They might make us cringe a bit but they are generally harmless and sometimes entertaining. They are not who I’m referring to. What I am talking about are the real nasty parents who scream obscenities, mock the opposing teams parents, scream at their children on the ice to physically hurt players on the other team… Yeah those ones…

I recently had the “pleasure” of meeting a group of these adults during the last few games B’s team played theirs. Appalling is too kind of a word to describe them, and it wasn’t just one, they seemed to work as a collective. The second last game B played them was one that I will remember forever. During one of the many loud rants the phrase “take them out at the knees” was screamed out to the 13 and 14yr Bantam A girls on the ice. I was actually livid hearing this come from a supposed responsible adult’s mouth. B is out there, playing her heart out, with a knee brace on ( it’s tucked under her pads) she has no penalties, she’s not the most aggressive force on her team, in fact, she seems to be a target of some pretty heavy checks and pushes, which is expected when your planted in front of the opposing teams net waiting to score. But why does she deserve to be “taken out at the knee”? Or any girl? It’s a little girl’s hockey game, not an Olympic skating competition. We as parents tend to get really involved in the game, but these parents were something else. I actually left my spot in the bleachers and stood the rest of the game by the glass, trying to separate myself from them. ( it made little difference, you could hear them from one end of the rink to the other). I recall the game being pretty physical, penalties on both sides but that just seemed to rile them further. It was disgusting. That game ended in a tie. The next time B played them, the same parents sat there mocking our teams parents, laughed when our players fell, and again were loud, disrespectful and ignorant.. like really people? What grown adult does that? I would never laugh when any player fell on any team , what if that was B? What if that fall was career ending? Is that funny? No. Not even remotely. We won that one but the bigger picture is what message is this sending to these girls? How could you as a parent, be ok with telling your 13 yr old daughter to resort to physical violence in order win a minor hockey game? That is something that I could never condone nor would I expect in any minor sport.

I’m thankful that this year B’s team has a great group of parents, yeah, sometimes we are a little loud cheering on our girls but we can all leave the rink with our heads held high, regardless of the score of the game.

Pride..

B asked me something recently. After scoring her 5th goal of this season, she asked me if I was proud of her.  Her query kind of took me aback for a moment. Does she think I measure my pride in her in goals?  Is that the currency she uses for her accomplishments?  I’ll admit,  like most parents, seeing my kid scoring a goal in a fast paced game of Bantam A girls hockey is as exciting for her as its for me , every goal she scores, gives her that boost of confidence she seems to lack on certain days and it proves that indeed Hockey is for everyone. Only one of her team mates knows about her EDS, she’s gone all season without disclosing the truth of her physical disabilities and manages to be continue to be a valuable asset to her team despite it. I also see myself in her (mostly her stubbornness) so when she does score, I feel it too. I am living vicariously through her during this journey, I get to be a part of something I never thought I would ever be able to..

The truth of it is, I am proud of her regardless of the score of the game. I am proud that she doesn’t use her pain or limitations as an excuse to quit, when it gets tough. I am proud of her stubbornness to tie her own skates and now does without assistance. I am proud of her commitment to her team and to her sport. I am proud that she has the passion and drive to play a sport that most kids in her position wouldn’t even consider.  I am proud that she plays with integrity and has no penalty minutes in her 2 seasons ( I may joke, but she knows I’m only kidding when I joke about celebrating her first penalty, in reality its a pretty big accomplishment in staying out of the sin bin , 2 seasons in a row) I am also proud of how she treats her teammates and coaches with respect. I am proud of every nice pass, of that cool play, that awesome assist and that shot on net even if it doesn’t go in.

My pride isn’t measured in points or even games..My pride in her is measured in who she is becoming on and off the ice… so yeah kid… mom is proud of ya…

It has been how long?

I can’t believe how fast time has gotten away from me. My intention was to write a blog post a week chronicling B’s journey this season and here we are, almost at the end and I have written diddly squat. To be fair, I have been busy with tournaments, trips to Montreal (we will get to that, next blog post) Christmas, hospital appointments, physio, hockey games and practices and most of it by myself for the past few months and doing it all on my own with a chronic illness is challenging, the truth is, I’m exhausted.

As a quick recap, B has had a fabulous season so far, to our surprise and relief, her knee has remained in (no dislocations) thanks to her brace. She has improved immensely in skill from last season, more than doubling her scoring points so far and has a great team of girls to play with. Her biggest obstacle has been her self confidence which took a big turn on Dec 27th where she scored her first two goals in an exhibition game over the Christmas break. The best part of her scoring  was that her father was home to see them. He missed seeing both of her goals last year due to being away at work. Since that game, she scored two more, had an assist and has made some amazing plays in a tournament game last weekend. She is turning into quite the little sniper. She is beginning to realize her strength is right on front of the net. Every player has their strengths and weaknesses and need to learn how to utilize and use them to their advantage to become the best player they can be. Not everyone can have a slap shot like Shea Weber or can handle the puck from one side of the ice to the other with speed like Brad Marchand so its awesome to see B finally find her place and play to her strengths with success.

#9 is mine